I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. This is typically a day I hate, however this Valentine's Day wasn't so bad.
I've disliked this holiday since I was old enough to know girls "should" have boyfriends, which was right about the age we stopped giving out our sweet, innocent valentines to everyone in class. This is a common theme with many women, I know I'm not the only one. I've been single more years than I was married and that is a lot of years to HATE.
When I got married I promised myself I would not be one of those women who NEEDED or DEMANDED gifts on this specific day. I always preferred the occasional thoughtful bouquet of flowers because it was the second Thursday in the ninth month of the day he drove by the florist. Meaning, small thoughtful gestures always made me happy and I never needed candy, flowers or gifts. Just time with the person I chose.
I'm single again. I found myself gearing up for another cranky, bitter Valentine's Day. I saw a video on social media by @DerrickJaxn (check him out...very insightful) and he mentioned something about not ruining this holiday for others. It got me thinking. I could be cranky, angry, depressed, lonely AND let everyone know or I could operate like it was any given Wednesday. I chose Wednesday and because I chose Wednesday it was a good day. I helped a co-worker deliver a super cute valentine to her honey and I enjoyed it.
I was busy today, I signed myself up for a lettering class tonight and I enjoyed it. I didn't focus on today being Valentine's Day. I think it just came down to a simple choice.
I didn't find some super cool insight or epiphany. The choice was always there, I just didn't see it. I have not fallen in love with the holiday, I haven't suddenly changed my whole emotional thought process. I still get lonely, I am still delving into my own inner demons and fighting my inner battles and growing. I'm still me. I think it may always be my least favorite day, but today didn't feel as bad. I made a choice. I chose Wednesday.
I chose me.
I feel so grown up!